Does the following sound clear and to the point?

I am asking my pastors about starting a ladies game night meeting and want his permission and suggestions on it. Because my older friends told me to.





Please revise it if you need to:


';I am thinking about planning a ladies game night for the women at our church and for the single ladies I met at another church. A few of my friends told me to ask one of my pastors so I was wondering if you can help me out? What would be a great time of day or night and what day of the week would work? If you have any suggestions let me know! Take your time to reply since I'll be out of state all week this week.Does the following sound clear and to the point?
Maybe change the last part to ';I will be out of state all week, so feel free to think this over.';.





Don't forget to add your cell phone number, if you have one.Does the following sound clear and to the point?
';I am thinking about planning a ladies game night for the women at our church and for the single ladies I met at another church. A few of my friends suggested that I ask my pastor for permission to use the church building. If you think that would be acceptable, what would be a good time of day and what day of the week would work? If you have any suggestions let me know. I will be out of town this week, so feel free to mull this over for a few days. I look forward to your response!
Mixing members of two different churches is not appropriate. ';Game night'; could mean anything, some agenda should be brought up detailing what you had in mind. Generally I would dismiss this as a bad idea, and suggest that if you want to do it, go ahead, but don't involve the name of the church in your party.